It's crazy when things actually get down to changing and the switchover from acknowledging a change to actually getting into it is I guess the hardest to grapple with. Most of the times I have been told to stay away from being so involved with things, people, feelings that it gets too difficult to seperate and I completely agree in all fairness to the same. How does one do it in real life, to me getting involved is not about involvement with a reason its the Flow and how does one reverse the flow when it's not required ( or atleast one would like to believe that)...
God knows what am I writing, why am I so frazzled, so disturbed and low when what's happening now is not something that's a news to me I knew of it coming and one part is happy about a certain aspect of it but still....
cant help feeling low, down and out...
------------------------------------------this is when a very dear friend shifted to another country not so long ago... but seems long.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Another day in Paradise
This is crazy... I never thought that I will start blogging myself and that defines the name of the site... anything can happen and its really funny at times.
Moments moments and more moments...and they say it becomes days months years and a life. Is that all... i sit and wonder at times that what are we talking about ... what is happiness I have seen it in the most negative forms sometime lately in a friend's eyes at a situation when somebody denied my existence to her( not that this friend doesn't care)it really is so subjective that at times I see sadness packed with a lot more warmth...
---------------------------And this is the absolute first one that I wrote....26th January 2006
Moments moments and more moments...and they say it becomes days months years and a life. Is that all... i sit and wonder at times that what are we talking about ... what is happiness I have seen it in the most negative forms sometime lately in a friend's eyes at a situation when somebody denied my existence to her( not that this friend doesn't care)it really is so subjective that at times I see sadness packed with a lot more warmth...
---------------------------And this is the absolute first one that I wrote....26th January 2006
detour....
Some one says detour is important... I guess whats more important is when you take it. There are no wrong answers i guess to such stuff its just that man has a bad habit of looking at things in hindsight. This has taken me some years and a few experiences to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing that happens for bad...so why generally jerk on things that have happened.Look and respond more to attitude than to actions...God takes you wherever you have to go and whether we call a de tour or just the path that seems straight to us without realizing that there was a curve one took...
---- this was possibly the first one I wrote.... agin from my old blog
---- this was possibly the first one I wrote.... agin from my old blog
The kid...
Imagine something that most of us (ADULTS) take offence to is when someone calls you a kid... just got thinking when one of my friend actually wrote to me that I have been very loving to their child and she wondered how did I manage to do so...it has always been going with the flow when it comes to kids.Taking all their reactions with love, a smile and a will to try and get them to feel happy.
I can never forget this really old incedent when I was a child and use to go to my nursery school my parents had to go somewhere and I was left alone at home one of the days dressed and packed to go to school. My rickshaw came at the time it was scheduled and I just sent the guy off saying I wasn't going to school that day.My parents came back and I told them that I decided to miss my school...I wasn't scolded, was just asked whether it made me happy...I realized it didn't make me happy but it did make my parents sad.I never missed my school after that unless there was a valid reason. I don't think this is an extraordinary incedent...
Just in hindsight if somebody were to be called a kid...guess the brighter bit is that you have learning capability...not saturated... hence would grow....the rising Sun...and who wouldn't want that.
--------------from my old blog....quitesometime back
I can never forget this really old incedent when I was a child and use to go to my nursery school my parents had to go somewhere and I was left alone at home one of the days dressed and packed to go to school. My rickshaw came at the time it was scheduled and I just sent the guy off saying I wasn't going to school that day.My parents came back and I told them that I decided to miss my school...I wasn't scolded, was just asked whether it made me happy...I realized it didn't make me happy but it did make my parents sad.I never missed my school after that unless there was a valid reason. I don't think this is an extraordinary incedent...
Just in hindsight if somebody were to be called a kid...guess the brighter bit is that you have learning capability...not saturated... hence would grow....the rising Sun...and who wouldn't want that.
--------------from my old blog....quitesometime back
Negativity....
The terms around negative and positive...make me wonder a lot. Have you ever thought whether its a negative feeling inside us or the negatives outside and around us that pull us down. People around are the best and the worst thing around.... they can add all the negative inside and outside as well if you are lucky they can fill your inside and outside space with positivity.
When they chose to get nasty they really can mess it up for you (as much as you like or want to say that they dont matter I live by my terms...my life and that kinda story). I have been living in this town for last 8 1/2 yrs roughly. My traits are not anti social...I am told by many people about that too, use to have a reasonably wide friend circle at one point in time and that was not too long ago roughly till about 3 1/2 yrs back... slowly i started to spend time with fewer people trustring them a lot more than I should have and the best thing is these are all very fine people with good education and family backgrounds.dunno where this transition happened and I am an absolute loner in today's date most of the time either working or spending time by my own self...very very bad case...
In any case guess life moves on the world doesn't stop spinning... so I cant go static ( as long as alive) even if I want to...crazy but true at times sadness does come with warmth wrapped around itself...its just that we dont see it with down the lane approach...
------again from my old blog - still so relevant....really old
When they chose to get nasty they really can mess it up for you (as much as you like or want to say that they dont matter I live by my terms...my life and that kinda story). I have been living in this town for last 8 1/2 yrs roughly. My traits are not anti social...I am told by many people about that too, use to have a reasonably wide friend circle at one point in time and that was not too long ago roughly till about 3 1/2 yrs back... slowly i started to spend time with fewer people trustring them a lot more than I should have and the best thing is these are all very fine people with good education and family backgrounds.dunno where this transition happened and I am an absolute loner in today's date most of the time either working or spending time by my own self...very very bad case...
In any case guess life moves on the world doesn't stop spinning... so I cant go static ( as long as alive) even if I want to...crazy but true at times sadness does come with warmth wrapped around itself...its just that we dont see it with down the lane approach...
------again from my old blog - still so relevant....really old
The sands of time….u see yr steps …where u went ….Yet u leave no marks after a storm
The sands of time….u see yr steps …where u went ….Yet u leave no marks after a storm
Someone actually wrote this to me and I got thinking for a while. It was late in evening... tired me looking for ways of just finishing work and my head pounding but I thought it's beautiful. Guess all of us do see our steps... where we went, the acknowledgement however is not something that comes very easily unless the path was full of soft sun and light wind brushing your face.I must have committed sins that I don't want to acknowledge or maybe I just want to shy away don't know why but I do... but the most amazing thing is the sins do come back whether i like them coming back or not... so maybe just doing it ( the nike friends of mine would be glad to see this... I hope! ) without thinking much around other stuff is a better I guess simpler option.
There are 3 considerations: Prescribed duty, capricious work and inaction. Prescribed duties are activities enjoined in terms of ones acquired mode of material nature. Capricious work means actions without sanction of authority, and inaction means not performing one’s prescribed duty... maybe this suits me so how does it matter whether the marks are left after the storm
--------------from my old blog - old March 2006
Someone actually wrote this to me and I got thinking for a while. It was late in evening... tired me looking for ways of just finishing work and my head pounding but I thought it's beautiful. Guess all of us do see our steps... where we went, the acknowledgement however is not something that comes very easily unless the path was full of soft sun and light wind brushing your face.I must have committed sins that I don't want to acknowledge or maybe I just want to shy away don't know why but I do... but the most amazing thing is the sins do come back whether i like them coming back or not... so maybe just doing it ( the nike friends of mine would be glad to see this... I hope! ) without thinking much around other stuff is a better I guess simpler option.
There are 3 considerations: Prescribed duty, capricious work and inaction. Prescribed duties are activities enjoined in terms of ones acquired mode of material nature. Capricious work means actions without sanction of authority, and inaction means not performing one’s prescribed duty... maybe this suits me so how does it matter whether the marks are left after the storm
--------------from my old blog - old March 2006
Flow
One of the most amazing thing that happens to us is the fact that we lose touch with what we want to do and then somewhere from someone there is a stimuli that comes and we respond with all that we have... ever wonder that when was the last time we ourselves went with the flow of time... left results to some one who sits up there and looks after all that happens. Guess all that I have done when gone with the flow has shown me some good times...some happiness somewhere.
It is beautiful when someone just looks towards you and tells you something not thinking about what the outcome is gonna be... it is just a bunch of words that are coming from one soul and sitting somewhere within yours.They might not mean anything material but it means the feeling of falling in love with either a situation or person...come to think of it the happiest thing that happens to someone is not love but the act of falling in love. Strange but it's the only fall that one cherishes...it's this act and not always the outcome that brings that one simple smile when you are sitting in front of a lake while moon is coming up. There is traffic behind you but you hear no sound...you are somewhere lying flat on the water without disturbing it looking at the moon and the sky that's coming up... it flows above the lake through the night washes all the darkness away and comes nice morning...birds chirping and an orange sky....life flows...
-------from my old blog - quite sometime back
It is beautiful when someone just looks towards you and tells you something not thinking about what the outcome is gonna be... it is just a bunch of words that are coming from one soul and sitting somewhere within yours.They might not mean anything material but it means the feeling of falling in love with either a situation or person...come to think of it the happiest thing that happens to someone is not love but the act of falling in love. Strange but it's the only fall that one cherishes...it's this act and not always the outcome that brings that one simple smile when you are sitting in front of a lake while moon is coming up. There is traffic behind you but you hear no sound...you are somewhere lying flat on the water without disturbing it looking at the moon and the sky that's coming up... it flows above the lake through the night washes all the darkness away and comes nice morning...birds chirping and an orange sky....life flows...
-------from my old blog - quite sometime back
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